So, this morning. Surprise! Math quiz. And look who decided to come to class today. Boy that sits in front of me, smelling of cigarette smoke. The quizzes are passed out and the teacher announces that we’re allowed to work with the people on our table. I (who doesn’t see why it’s necessary to work with others on a quiz, especially an easy one such as this) start working on mine and look up to see Boy that sits in front of me with his head down over his paper, pretending to work on a problem. I wonder what he’s doing because the quiz is on stuff that we went over yesterday, when he wasn’t in class. Then I see, without him lifting his head, his eyes look over to my paper and he starts copying my equations and work. This is the first time I’ve caught someone cheating off of my paper. At first I think, “WTF, man,” and then I bite my lip to keep from laughing at his blatancy. Does he really think it’s not at all obvious? First of all, WHY SKIP CLASS SO MUCH? Second, the teacher had just said we could work with others. What’s wrong with you? ASK how to do the problem instead of copying my work (incorrectly on some problems, might I add). I thought about changing my equations around so they’d be wrong and letting him copy that but alas, it was too late. :Q

Mom and Dad went home today. A month ago I thought I’d be relieved. I imagined less anger, more freedom, and overall contentment. A couple of weeks after we got here I realized I didn’t loathe them as much as I thought I did. This probably being because they were often socializing with the rest of the family, leaving some space between the three of us, and also because we were often out and about. It was much different from home, where we’d be stuck in the house all day with nothing to do, sometimes getting on each other’s nerves. Here there was no monotony, no tension. It came to a surprise to me that when I woke up this morning, I cried. I dreamt that I was hugging my mom and when I woke up I started bawling. It’s strange, not to mention frustrating that I was so eager to get away from them, being so sure that I’d be happier here, and now I actually miss them.

Want to know a secret? Since coming here I would occasionally feel tiny bits of regret about coming here, but quickly pushed them aside. What right do I have to want to go home after people did so much to get me here? After all the money and effort that was spent, I can’t be unhappy. I keep reminding myself that this is what I wanted (pretty badly, too) and about all the things that made me want this. I’m so bewildered that I could possibly feel this way, especially now. Mom said that if I can’t get into UW then I should come home. I think part of me secretly hopes that I don’t get in. I’ll definitely still try, and hope that I change my mind about (*cough*) not wanting to be here anymore.